April 21, 2005

fine food fun

food has been in the news quite a bit. tonight: science has finally answered the unanswerable - why some popcorn kernels never, ever pop. investigative journalism at its finest. now, the food pyramid has been changed into a strange rainbow stairmaster that threatens to pump *clap* you up. it is made of colorful new vertical pie slices proclaiming fun slogans such as, "go lean on protein," "focus on fruits," and "know your fats." pyramid my truest love responded: "hellow fats, i'm john. i love you so much." the daily show is best. and for the recod, "go-lean" is kashi cereal that my mom buys. just one sniff of all that fiber and you're pooping bricks. speaking of pooping bricks, everyone's favorite cookie monster has gone green, too. he has finally learned that cookies are "sometime foods" and that health foods, like fruits and vegetables, are "anytime foods." now, i know that american's children are fat, but you can't reform a monster. that furry boy was so dependent on his chocolate chip junk that a stern talking to's not going to do anything for his habit. send him to the betty crocker clinic! crank up the shock treatment paddles and man the methadone! but habits are absurdly hard to break. i watched a woman get her gastric bypassed on television the other night. she was so fat, that her stomach hung down in two lobes to mid-thigh. it looked as if her camel toe has ballooned to elephantine proportions. she wanted to lose weight so her young daughter could live a normal life. so sad. no one told her about "sometimes foods" - eat foods only some times. pity i'm just rubbish with time. got scolded today for being late at the lab. again. ugh. huge scoldey and i'm now on a bit of probation. must "think about what i want to do in the lab" and whether i want as much responsibility as working on expensie african bird project requires. ugh. very reminiscent of when i got bum rushed out of playing the cello. weep. again, though, it's so typical of me. but if i'm a good girl, maybe i get to be put on payroll. oh well, tomorrow is blaize's party, where i will assuredly be further injured in the spirit of good fuckin' fun. also, a neighbor is having a pot luck that night. made the best dinner tonight. yummy veggies, flank steak, and pasta shells. also some ice cream and fudge. mmm. dinner made me happy. terribly happy. har!

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