April 19, 2005

7 stories and an unreasonable demand

kim and i have developed a new and rather odd rapport. on facebook. we exchange "pokes," almost daily. i log on repeatedly, entirely to see whether or not i've been poked. and i reciprocate and log off and go on with my day.

today, i was on campus the entire day, i decided to do the spendthrift thing and eat lunch there. went to panda express for my meal. two hours later, still on campus and waiting for my midterm to begin, my breath was growing increasingly rank. i had run out of gum the day before and was just wandering about tasting my mouth. i started thinking, "ig. i have dog breath." yucky. and after about two minutes of that thought, i realized that that could be a rather bad racial slur and felt a bit guilty because i couldn't get it out of my head. going into my final, i was repeating "dog breath. dog breath. dog breath. dog breath," like a strange mantra that i just couldn't shake. and i felt a little bit like a bad person.

in the court of sciences there was a pavilion set up - one of those collapsable deals - and i swear it had a sign on its side comparing free trade to vd. i don't know why, and i was in too much a hurry to stop and find out. but, damn, i wanted to know. i also wanted to call someone up and have them bring me a digital camera so i could snap a shot. of course, my phone is technically a digital camera, but such a useless tiny one.

going into my midterm, i became momentarily paranoid that i had wandered into the wrong testing room. i looked around for my ta, but my fears were only heigthened when i didn't see her at the front of the lecture hall. but then i paused and began musing...i don't actually know what she looks like. i'm pretty sure i don't have the remotest mental image of her. but then i thought if she were there, i would probably be able to recognise her. or at least her ass. she has a very distinct ass. very "baby got back." i normally wouldn't be looking, but she stands with her back to the class in discussion a lot, writing on the board. and the class isn't particularly interesting. it's really quite a remarkable ass. reminiscent of an inverted shelf, perhaps. at any rate, she wasn't there. but i was reassured that i did show up at the right testing place. but i still kept thinking, "goddam, i wish my ta would get her ass here," and unhappily meaning it literally.

as long as i'm discussing asses, i was talking to matt the other day. oh, he's not an ass, no no. he was drunk. and he asked me (blaming it on the drink) how far i'd ever gotten with a boy. aww. the next day, i spoke to him again (previous convo was never mentioned). i called him an alkie, he called himself a lush and informed me he was ass-nude, just having stepped out of the shower. instinct prompted me to creen, issue forth complements and come-ons, and in general behave like a jolly little person. but just as i was typing some sort of lewd comment or other, i remember the mildly awkward conversation of the many complements and realized i couldn't creen at someone who said nice things about me, because it might be taken literally. so i waffled and ended up saying something non-scandal-inciting. felt like a sellout.

been talking a lot to matt of late. also, kim. well, a lot more than i did a year ago at this time. she and i were estranged. it's a bit odd not being hated by her any more. i must admit that i'm vaguely suspicious of it on some odd level. also, suspicious of every positive assurance i have in my head that something is true. (comes of missing a final, i suppose.) i'm double-guessing myself like crazy - the paranoia is becoming insupportable.

well, i can't say i'm keeping up in my classes the way i ought after that final shit. i'm doing pretty well, but am still behind in all my readings. so dull, science reading. i've taken over the coffee table with my textbooks. just sitting out, preventing us from eating our dinners comfortably. on the other hand, my new level of on-campus activity is heartening. and though it leaves me tired and confused most nights, is energising and inspiring during the day. had the idea for a story sitting eating my bad lunch. i'll write it next time someone demands a tale of me, i suppose. i wish other people responded to that request in kind. really, only chris does. and he does a lovely job, but he's online so infrequently that we never have out good, hilarious conversations any more. no time. so i'm left writing little tales for matt and such. who will write me a story, eh? something stupid and funny to pass the time. it's the least you can do.

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