April 21, 2005

fine food fun

food has been in the news quite a bit. tonight: science has finally answered the unanswerable - why some popcorn kernels never, ever pop. investigative journalism at its finest. now, the food pyramid has been changed into a strange rainbow stairmaster that threatens to pump *clap* you up. it is made of colorful new vertical pie slices proclaiming fun slogans such as, "go lean on protein," "focus on fruits," and "know your fats." pyramid my truest love responded: "hellow fats, i'm john. i love you so much." the daily show is best. and for the recod, "go-lean" is kashi cereal that my mom buys. just one sniff of all that fiber and you're pooping bricks. speaking of pooping bricks, everyone's favorite cookie monster has gone green, too. he has finally learned that cookies are "sometime foods" and that health foods, like fruits and vegetables, are "anytime foods." now, i know that american's children are fat, but you can't reform a monster. that furry boy was so dependent on his chocolate chip junk that a stern talking to's not going to do anything for his habit. send him to the betty crocker clinic! crank up the shock treatment paddles and man the methadone! but habits are absurdly hard to break. i watched a woman get her gastric bypassed on television the other night. she was so fat, that her stomach hung down in two lobes to mid-thigh. it looked as if her camel toe has ballooned to elephantine proportions. she wanted to lose weight so her young daughter could live a normal life. so sad. no one told her about "sometimes foods" - eat foods only some times. pity i'm just rubbish with time. got scolded today for being late at the lab. again. ugh. huge scoldey and i'm now on a bit of probation. must "think about what i want to do in the lab" and whether i want as much responsibility as working on expensie african bird project requires. ugh. very reminiscent of when i got bum rushed out of playing the cello. weep. again, though, it's so typical of me. but if i'm a good girl, maybe i get to be put on payroll. oh well, tomorrow is blaize's party, where i will assuredly be further injured in the spirit of good fuckin' fun. also, a neighbor is having a pot luck that night. made the best dinner tonight. yummy veggies, flank steak, and pasta shells. also some ice cream and fudge. mmm. dinner made me happy. terribly happy. har!

April 20, 2005

the news, not the weather

so there's a new pope in the world. creepy-faced, ex-hitler youth, short, and robust. i wouldn't confess to that man, he looks like an evil elf. all he needs are decaying greened teeth and a knobbly stick. throughout the entire popedeath debachle, i've been thinking about the malachy list. a prophet predicted all the pope through history, ending...dun dun dun! with the end of the church. which is 2 popes from now. we have: "ab labore solis" (dead Pope, John Paul II), "gloria olivae" (now pope), "petrus romanus" (Peter the Roman - the last pope). very gloom. check it out: here.

apart from news recap, life goes on as usual. blaize and jim came over last night. the lot of us got drunk and rowdy together here at the apartment. good times! only downer is that i have the usual bruises all over my body from drunken abuse. though it wasn't from my typical brawls with blaize, he was molesting kat. as usual the four of us paired up (which i find terribly amusing due to previous dating patterns) and i was pummled by jim. this morning i found bruises on either pole of my wrist and forearm, upper arm - i looked like a lepur. these were caused, i believe, when jim pinned my arms above my head and he and blaize gave me double raspberries. frankly, i found it unpleasant, but i wouldn't have minded the pin, had it occurred while we were going out. rowr. haha! perhaps i should keep my unusual proclivities to myself. or broadcast them louder, them maybe i'll see better results, hrm. jim and i ended up cozed up in the living room while blaize repeatedly body slammed kat (and demonstrated his new ju jitsu moves). had rather nice sleepy and drunk conversation and he kissed the back of my head and neck. i was lethargically complicit. he left when i decided to go to bad and took blaize's shoes with him. blaize was passed out on kat's bed while she coughed pathetically and made little helpless gestures. well, the antics of the evening efficiently stopped my plans to study chem and now i must catch up.

April 19, 2005

7 stories and an unreasonable demand

kim and i have developed a new and rather odd rapport. on facebook. we exchange "pokes," almost daily. i log on repeatedly, entirely to see whether or not i've been poked. and i reciprocate and log off and go on with my day.

today, i was on campus the entire day, i decided to do the spendthrift thing and eat lunch there. went to panda express for my meal. two hours later, still on campus and waiting for my midterm to begin, my breath was growing increasingly rank. i had run out of gum the day before and was just wandering about tasting my mouth. i started thinking, "ig. i have dog breath." yucky. and after about two minutes of that thought, i realized that that could be a rather bad racial slur and felt a bit guilty because i couldn't get it out of my head. going into my final, i was repeating "dog breath. dog breath. dog breath. dog breath," like a strange mantra that i just couldn't shake. and i felt a little bit like a bad person.

in the court of sciences there was a pavilion set up - one of those collapsable deals - and i swear it had a sign on its side comparing free trade to vd. i don't know why, and i was in too much a hurry to stop and find out. but, damn, i wanted to know. i also wanted to call someone up and have them bring me a digital camera so i could snap a shot. of course, my phone is technically a digital camera, but such a useless tiny one.

going into my midterm, i became momentarily paranoid that i had wandered into the wrong testing room. i looked around for my ta, but my fears were only heigthened when i didn't see her at the front of the lecture hall. but then i paused and began musing...i don't actually know what she looks like. i'm pretty sure i don't have the remotest mental image of her. but then i thought if she were there, i would probably be able to recognise her. or at least her ass. she has a very distinct ass. very "baby got back." i normally wouldn't be looking, but she stands with her back to the class in discussion a lot, writing on the board. and the class isn't particularly interesting. it's really quite a remarkable ass. reminiscent of an inverted shelf, perhaps. at any rate, she wasn't there. but i was reassured that i did show up at the right testing place. but i still kept thinking, "goddam, i wish my ta would get her ass here," and unhappily meaning it literally.

as long as i'm discussing asses, i was talking to matt the other day. oh, he's not an ass, no no. he was drunk. and he asked me (blaming it on the drink) how far i'd ever gotten with a boy. aww. the next day, i spoke to him again (previous convo was never mentioned). i called him an alkie, he called himself a lush and informed me he was ass-nude, just having stepped out of the shower. instinct prompted me to creen, issue forth complements and come-ons, and in general behave like a jolly little person. but just as i was typing some sort of lewd comment or other, i remember the mildly awkward conversation of the many complements and realized i couldn't creen at someone who said nice things about me, because it might be taken literally. so i waffled and ended up saying something non-scandal-inciting. felt like a sellout.

been talking a lot to matt of late. also, kim. well, a lot more than i did a year ago at this time. she and i were estranged. it's a bit odd not being hated by her any more. i must admit that i'm vaguely suspicious of it on some odd level. also, suspicious of every positive assurance i have in my head that something is true. (comes of missing a final, i suppose.) i'm double-guessing myself like crazy - the paranoia is becoming insupportable.

well, i can't say i'm keeping up in my classes the way i ought after that final shit. i'm doing pretty well, but am still behind in all my readings. so dull, science reading. i've taken over the coffee table with my textbooks. just sitting out, preventing us from eating our dinners comfortably. on the other hand, my new level of on-campus activity is heartening. and though it leaves me tired and confused most nights, is energising and inspiring during the day. had the idea for a story sitting eating my bad lunch. i'll write it next time someone demands a tale of me, i suppose. i wish other people responded to that request in kind. really, only chris does. and he does a lovely job, but he's online so infrequently that we never have out good, hilarious conversations any more. no time. so i'm left writing little tales for matt and such. who will write me a story, eh? something stupid and funny to pass the time. it's the least you can do.

April 17, 2005

kung-fu conversation

i woke up this morning from the most bizairre dream. it managed to combine both zelda:ocarina of time and the cosby show. also, with bikinis as harbingers of doom. was woken up when blaize called for kat, my ailing roommate who, for the past day and a half, has been croaking like a chronic smoker. it's so sad. we were wathing today and quipping, and though she was being lovely and witty, i had to silence her, because her voice was just so sad and tortured. i spent all day doing fuck-all, apart from the occasional genetics problem in preparation for my monday exam. the class i so misleadingly easy that it makes me paranoid that i must be missing something. well, the statistics are a bit tough, but not so bad when i'm not concurrently obsessivly watching the telly. (like now, road house is on. the imdb summary is 4 senteces. the last is "things heat up." what i want to know is: why does everyone in the midwest in the 80's know martial arts?) actually, yay for marial arts. had discussion with rext today about ong bok and the new movie from the same director. want to see them. lots. oh lovely badass fights. with flying. whoo! what can i say? i just love the leet fighting skills men. had a bit of an odd conversation last night with the other matt. about world of warcraft battles and classes and my beauty.

matt: there are some really hot girls at de anza but somehow i doubt they have much...substance?
me: haha. well, as long as they're substantial, it's sort of already a step up, though. (witty reference to earlier masturbation joke)
matt: well one is in my photo class, and is in my lab section.
me: but will you ever talk to it?
matt: asdfghjklwwertyuiopzxcvbnm
matt: no.
matt: just stare at her probably
matt: and hope she doesn't catch me
me: hahaha
matt: oh i'm pathetic.
me: yeah, that'd be creepy.
matt: its not really staring though.
me: well, as long as it's not staring.
matt: yea, i'm generally a corner guy.
matt: so it's not like i'm turning around to look at her
me: haha, good place. subtle like.
me: there's a guy in my bio class who keeps sittin near me. possibly deliberately.
matt: oooo
me: but that's just wild conceited speculation.
me: but you know i'm damn fine.
matt: agreed.
me: that's what i like. blind acceptance of whatever i say.
matt: i know i'd deliberately sit close to you.
me: yeees....flatter me.
matt: you just exude charm and wit.
me: yep. radiates straight from my soul.
matt: straight through your eyes.
matt: which, i must say, are quite lovely and bright.
me: aw, i blush.
matt: i speak only the truth!
me: alright, that's enough.
me: save some complements for later.
matt: hehe

the funny thing is, had that conversation not been held online, i would not have been nearly as poised and clever, with my verbal bobs and weaves. when complmented in real life, i becom flustered and begin to titter like an idiot. or perhaps i'm simply maturing. god forbid. but i suppose my very room is quite the testament against that, with the ever increasing pile of clothing ammassing on my dresser and my bed becoming more and more unmade. (aw. road house is over.) spent most of yesterday in a fabulous mood. got out of long day of classes - sitting mostly motionless with the strongest need for physical activity. specifically, i wanted to dance, to be grabbed and twirled around like mad. actually, i generally could go for that, but it's not so common that i have the need to samba. i need to meet a nice, spontaneous fella who will do that at random intervals and who i can bully into dressing as gregor mendel for halloween. i saw a picture of him in my genetics book and now dream of finding somone whose hair i can shave into receeding hairline and who i can dress in white lacy skirt thing and shawl. apart from scientist-dress-up fantasies, my nerddom has been increasing by bounds. i cavorted a little when i removed my genetics sample problem cd from the wrapping and creened "science!" in joy. and eventually i will sleep. and i will wake up to dreams of random mind pieces bobbing to the surface and battles to save the world. good night.

April 14, 2005

sunshine and science

another long day at the lab. i had some funny thoughts earlier that i would have liked to share, but those are gone now. bored out of my mind. the maintenance workers on campus were on strike today. marched around in groups wearing green shirts of protest and carrying signs. i was listening to the clash in the pre-pcr lab when they marched past my window. and, you know what? belligerent chaotic shouting goes really well with the clash. goes well together like apples and butter croissants, mmm.... my favorite janitor, harry, wasn't on strike, though. he was at his post in the hall of the ls building where the lab is, loitering, as he does, around 6 when i left. we greeted each other and said goodnight and he called me "baby," which i found amusing in that jolly old lech sort of way. working in a science building surrounded by profs and grad students working in their labs, he is jolly and sweet and has a sign: "harry's lab" on the door of his supply room. got back to the aprtment and went for thai food with kat. mm, thai food. wasn't quite as good as my little hole-in-the-wall back home, but what is ever as good as back home? i had some thai ice tea and did a little i'm happy drinking tea dance. i called my mom after my morning stint in the lab, standing out on the street in the sun. it was nice talking to her. told her about my classes and, obviously, the labwork. mm, i'm finding my life pleasant but tiring. tomorrow is another rather long day of learning. but at least i'm jolly. shit, i think my first midterm is monday - absurd! but the info is all mendelian pedigrees and shit. i was amazed when some people in my discussion section were having trouble with the concept. so a bit of review and it should be a piece of piss.

April 13, 2005

no title today - too tired to be interesting

i've been an active day person for a week, and now i can't sleep through the morning. i woke up today at 7, when really i had to wake at 9, and groaned obscenities into my pillow. i even had trouble sleeping till noon over the weekend, an old favorite - i spent my entire spring break sleeping till the sun was past its apex. but i must admit, being productive feels great. the lab work may be tedious, but i always find strange robotic pleasure from dull, repetitive tasks well done. and afterwards, i get so pleased that i'm not just slacking around the apartment all afternoon. i've also made the effort to read my books and do chem practice problems - the whole proper student thing. i am really digging it. tomorrow, i think i will sign up for yoga during one of my super lengthy breaks between classes, though maybe not. there might eventually be lab time conflicts. hrm. but i've been feeling energetic, sunny, and good. though it seems my skin is responding adversely to la. my forehead is breaking out, and i have a painful little zit at the edge of one of my nostrils. it makes me want to dunk my head in a bucket of astringent. my human contact has been rather low, or at least the interesting stuff. limited to the weekends, i'm afraid. though this weekend i successfully drank 2 days in a row and watched a movie with friends. all the queen's men with eddie izzard and matt le blanc. god it was sucky. i though, hey, it's joey in bad (bad) drag and my favorite executive transvestite, good times...but no. it was poorly acted and not particularly amusingly written. the twist was depressing and the villains, though nazis, were just not all that upsetting. (speaking of ex-friends cast memebers in wwii dramas, i keep seeing this miniseries or something on the history channel with david schwimmer in. he's not believable as a hardened military commander. or a human, really. he should do sci-fi or something. or maybe some sort of outbreak killer virus thing.) the best thing about the movie, amy, elissa, and i agreed, was the pretty lady love interest. the worst was watching blaize get uncomfortable at the tender nonconformist love between izzard (whose character was bi) and a one-armed man. at one point, blaize loudly proclaimed, "my anus is puckering right now!" which made me want to screw with him. the same way i screw with my father when he says stupid shit like that. much more interesting was dr. strangelove, which i watched today while doing chem problem sets. it was obviously a book adaptation, and i could see that most of the humorous parts were lifted stylistically from the writing. the movie wasn't bad, but i think i'd much better enjoy the book. certain authors/writing styles just don't make the jump between literature and film particularly gracefully, and that sort of descriptional ironic humor is one. the sort of thing you'd find in pratchett or vonnegut that just defies non-narrational style. i'm betting that dr. strangelove is in a similar bent. so i'm at least adding a book to my between-class reading list. and with that, it's getting late and i need to get up at 8. these horrible "mornings" are going to kill me. and the daylight hurts my eyes.

April 10, 2005

hard play

i wrote a post that was deleted, so let me try to drunkenly recall what i wrote. and of course ad my new antics...

so chris proposed to me. my old friend who i haven't seen since the 6th grade (8th for him). he did it online, which is terrribly underwhelming. i think he's still trying to enter into a scam marriage, but i'm not sure what happened to the other girl. i think he'd prefer me anyways, though. we're terribly old friends (had crushes on one another when we actually knew each other in person), and have always joked about being wed. he's even claimed dibs on my virginity, though i've never dignified those claims with a serious response. actually, i didn't dignify the proposeal with a response - i merely laughed, yerribly flattered that he would want to marry me. after all, he is my favorite boy.

had a terribly productive week in the lab and at class. my days were long and difficult and i did not get nearly enough sleep. but i achieved a lot and for that i am content and proud. at the same time, was exhausted and a bit scared my entire quarter will be like that. so this weekend, i've been drunk. last night was amy's birthday party, emo-themed, and tonight was cynth's. hung out with high school and college friends, as well as a bunch of strangers and got drunk and happy. went to cynth's and had dinner with sadaf and heather, watched after the sunset of possibly something with a similar name in which pierce brosnan and selma haek are diamon thieves. (can't watch brosnan in films after having seen him with a moustache. he looked creepily like my father and i now can't get that association out of my head.) spent a lot of quality lush time at elissa's. evidently, her ex has lesbian fantasies about me and her. we get a bit rauchy when we're together. and i'v found that yen is a belligerent drunk, rather scary. matt asked me to write him a story and i did, tipsey and tired. perhaps i'll post it later, once i've cleaned it up. but now, to bed. g'night!

April 06, 2005

educational hazzard

uhhhng, so tired. but happy. yesterday and today have been intense. yesterday was the first day of classes. woke at 7:30 to get to class by 9. was a little bit late to oceanography on the far side of campus from the apartment and had to run through two buildings to get there. had an hour break after class during which i went to the bookstore and started reading mona lisa overdrive. then had chem - my prof is a snarky brit who says "zed" and "al-lu-min-ium" and makes sarcastic comments during his lectures. from all sides, though, he sounds terribly difficult, but i'm hoping it won't give me a nervous breakdown like last year. then i had a two hour break during which i fed the lizards, met with my bio prof from last quarter, talked to a councellor across campus, talked to the prof teaching the bio class this quarter, ran to ackerman to fill my cup of ramen with hot water and then to class. new bio. and my professor was absent, but we had a "guest speaker" - my professor dressed as gregor mendel introducing himself in german and crossing himself. the lecture was in english and about mendel's research, very thorough. needless to say, i was completely charmed. i ate my soup grinning and jotted notes about probability ratios i've seen dozens of times before. after that had my chem discussion. got to it early and stared out the window at a hummingbird perched atopa spindley tree. every time the bird turned its head towards me, its breast feathers glinted red like a blinking christmas light. after a bit, it turned its back and glowed a steady luminescent green. class was short, we were warned again about the difficulty of the brit and left. got back to may apartment exhausted - my wanderings had taken me all up and down campus and i moved rapidly. i napped for a bit and then kat and i fixed dinner and watched sex and the city. blaize came by about midnight and they played mario kart while i sewed. went to bed around 2. woke up at 8:30 this morning, despite the fact i had no class and went in to the lab - i was late. camille told me to meet her "in the 5th floor pre-pcr lab" neglecting to tell me a room number or even building name. i made an educated guess and showed up half an hour late to find doors locked. went into her office and asked ryan where to find her - he told me where i'd been and that i ought to knock. oh. knock. so i did and got in. she's very nice and perky and cute. also, french. we ran a pcr - the lab has 4 pcr machines named after the beatles. we used george, though she had wanted to use ringo, but he was full. i like george almost best. so after that, i went back to the apartment to eat. ran back on campus at 2 to meet with bio prof about the final and found a note left for me - everything was finally arranged, i can take the final along with the class this quarter and my old prof will accept the grade. whee! now i'm taking 4 finals in 1 week, all science. i really need to stay on top of things or i will snap. ran back to the apartment for a couple of hours and watched tv while sewing. cynth stopped by during that time and i was ensconced on the couch, didn't look up when she came in. so she crept up behind me and barked in my ear, making me yelp in surprise. har har. i was shaken even a few minutes after she left. kat got back and we compared days - her arm is grossly swollen from multiple bug bites and her right arm bears the phisique of certain cartoon characters. i went back to campus around 5 to run a gel and stayed in the lab till 8. when i got back kat and i made ourselves meals - i had eggs and a bagel - and watched more episodes of sex, etc. then we went to see sin city, which i've decided is the modern titus andronicus. has ever sort of debauch you could want. i found it highly amusing that there were just about as many tit shots as there were shots of people getting their dicks blown/yanked off. no, not in a fun or sexy way. in a way that makes you empathetic, go "owie." the movie was generally entertaining, though not particularly extraordinary. i wasn't even terribly pleased the way the black and white/color think turned out. it could have been more stylistically done, i think, but perhaps it was closer to the comic book. i did like the way certain scenes were definately like comic book stills, but i don't know, it just wasn't visually very compelling. my favorite part, bar none, was the hooker bit, though. whee, hookers! though elija wood as scary godly cannibal is the shit, too. so now i'm back in the apartment. pleasantly tired. i feel as if i've accomplished a lot in the last 2 days; feelin' good in that happy, content, satisfied, sleepy way. it's nice. i haven't felt productive in so long. and if i keep this level of activity up, i'm totally going to shed some pounds this quarter. or drop from exhaustion. fortunately, the more work i have to do, the more efficient and driven i become. so run that horse into the ground, baby! momma's gotta learnin' to do!

April 03, 2005

superhero scientist druggie dike

bit tired, but in a good way. very happy mood and back in la. i can feel the la-ness seep back into me, though i've been holding it back, and even in the ride from the airport i could feel the rising anxiety of the city trying to creep in. i sat back and remembered my friends back home, running their faces in front of my mind's eye in a soothing slide show and grooved the silicon valley. when i got back on firm ground i felt more myself. yen was on my flight and we took a shuttle back to westwood together. she kept yelling, "i hate this place" during the trip. ran into blaize as i was walking from shuttle to my apartment, as i almost knew that i would, and later roped him into getting dinner with me at in 'n out. now that kat's here, the fridge is full of food again, so i can eat properly here in my own happy kitchen. unpacked and tidied up with a fervent bustling energy, but stopped when it came to the point where i'd have to pack my already bursting drawers. got a second wind later and did some serious rearranging. made drawer space, filled drawer space, etc. i now have a secret chace of panties hidden in my closet in case the need ever arises to...what? defend myself while huddles in the closet using nothing but my own dainties...or something. afterwards, i finished and mailed my taxes. a, ah, rather taxing ordeal (groan), as i suck. had my envelopes all addressed (albiet wrongly) and was only awaiting confirmation on addresses and a check. wrote the check ($3, you would think they just wouldn't bother) re-checked the addresses, sealed the envelopes, and then remembered i had put the wrong month on my returns. groan! so i opened the envelopes back up, peeled the stamps off, and glued the stamps to new envelopes with elmer's. at least new envelopes didn't have unsightly scratched out portions of address where i repeatedly corrected my mistakes. did manage to mail them amid pale fantasies about insidious sneaking men rummaging through mail, removing loosely affixed stamps and giggling sinisterly, and rows and rows of identical p.o. boxes that lead to black pits with flames licking their rims. and while i pay taxes, chris is getting married to someone he doesn't love to say "fuck the government." stupid no same-sex marriage thing. but i think he's being royally stupid for legal reasons. besides, how will he ever marry me if he's already got a spouse? we have plans - he will be poor philosophy professor mooching off of me - rich doctor wife. or rather, he made the plans for us. i think i get short end of stick there. but do have to wake early tomorrow - classes and such. mustn't upset plans, even if he goes on and does wed random girl (while still having proper girlfriend of his own). and the schedule next quarter is all science with big gaps between my classes forming a hideous week. must do well this quarter for reasons besides med school: father is back home checking my college grades online. i gave him the info needed to get to my grade report *shudder.* after the whole missed final debachle, he trusts me responsibility a lot less, i think. he asked me very sternly, "is there something you should be telling us? are you sure? nothing you think you should share?" on the phone after i admitted my gross mistake. he was in essence asking, "are you on the drugs? are you sure it's not drugs? you had better admit now to being on drugs, it'll go a lot easier on you if you just admit it now." i'm not fucking on drugs, but his sporadic scowly disapproving looks all break started getting to me. not that i didn't deliberately needle him into them quite often. why else would i ask him what he thought about me getting a tattoo or flaunt my purple hair?...heheheh. he really doesn't understand me (and not in an "i'm misunderstood" sort of way, in a -my father keeps giving me disbelieving stares- sort of way) - i can sort of see how he might think that i'm on drugs. and worse, he once tried to make me promise that i'd never use drugs (7th grade or something)...and i refused. which i actually think took quite strength of character, as i wasn't doing it just to screw with him. i just didn't feel comfortable making such a broad positive statement - call it the scientist in me, i was curious. and didn't want to make a promise i wasn't sure i'd keep. i did have a brilliant science fantasy today. while complaining to blaize about horrible schedule, he responded, "well science is knowledge and knowledge is power." so i thought: wouldn't it be fabulous if the more science you learn, the more powerful you became - in superhero sense. i envisioned myself sporting she-ra/wonderwoman magic metal wrist cuffs, but it could really go far beyond that: gift of flight, eye lasers, shiny tiara, perfect imobile action hair.... that would be so bitchin' - science could make me magical. with wrist cuffs! ka-ping! zing! ka-pow! tee hee! i told him about my little wrist cuff fantasy and blaize told me it was one of the most stupid things he had ever heard me say. evidently, he hasn't known me very long. fool. i responded by telling the story of how i once told kim that my lunch was between her legs. (she was, of course, standing over my backpack which contained sandwich and box drink.) scarringly, priya then decided to greet me for the next two weeks with loud yells of, "carla! my lunch is between your legs!!" not quite as bad as yen, whose nickname in some circles was apparently "dildo" during high school after one particularly naive question asked of the elderly elfin calculus teacher during class one day. it has become sort of a running joke then, or possibly fixation, and her away message all evening was "back in hell... unpacking my dildo," which i just loved. rather hope this quarter won't be hellish, though with chem and all, it very will might. this is the same chem class that gave me the nervous breakdown last spring. i also hope i can keep silicon valley joy inside of me - sink my roots somewhere and dig in. best way not to go nuts. well, bedtime. early start and all.

April 01, 2005

humor and depression: what's news

ooh, i had a lovely day today. i've been spending most of my break helping mom visit boutiques in the area or chillin' nights on the couch with the 'rents. sadly, few of my friends are in the bay, and those that are do have lives of their own. (weepy, spend time with me.) but today i woke up with the house happily to myself. i dyed the faded bleach streaks out of my hair with the most insidious purple dye known to man. while washing the color out of my hair, i was left with giant purple streaks across my chest and down my breasts from where the dye-laden water flowed. my hands are still stained, though my breasts are fortunately almost entirely their original color. every speck that fell on the sink basin left a little purple shadow that i had to scrub madly. and it took four shampoos before the suds stopped coming up bright purple. sadly, it took to my hair slightly less ferociously. i now have these lovely purple and maroonish streaks that look a lot better than the sad orange and yellow did. i think perhaps i'll be making a habit of it. it's fierce, but oddly grape-scented. then matt came by and i had my first pleasant lesson in the manual transmission (2nd ever). i learned real quick! i can almost always not stall out now! so then we drove around and he showed me a fabulous view of the valley (not the valley) from a retirement community in the hills. it was great, the air smelled of flowers and wild grasses. and i drove his car all the way home! i stole a shell he had in his car and made it into a necklace.

watching tv with the parents, as i've been doing most nights, i've been watching a lot more of the news, which i typically eschew because it's so depressing. and sure 'unff the news has been upsetting/amusing:
the vegetable-lady death, for example. the hooplah surrounding it annoys me, as well as the absolutely absurd arguments for and against death my forced starvation. good god, if you're going to put her to death, just euthanize her and be done with! i do not see how deliberately starving her to death is in any way more noble, and in fact causes a more unpleasant death, so i would reason that it is less. and congress' blatant opposition of party lines, not to mention congressional jurisdiction. elastic clause my ass, this falls blatantly under the expanse of the 10th ammendment. congress has no right getting involved. the pope is dying, and that just amuses me. i don't know why, i suppose he's rather progressive for a pope (kat tells me so) and popes are supposed to be pretty good men so it's sad that he's going, but the entire hierarchy of the catholic church upsets me. i disagree with their policies (no birth control anyone?), i resent the power they weild, i am disgusted by the persisting chauvenism of the system, and finally, for god's sake the church's massive wealth could be used much more productively (global poverty anyone?). plus there's that whole popemobile absurdity, and having read angels and demons the very concept of popedeath is now funny to me (as is apocalyptic vatican bomb). he's been so old and enfeabled for so long, blessing sheep and break dancers; he's been little more than a bad joke in tiny old man shape that i can't see him as anything less even now that he's genuinely on his way out. and finally, one of my favorite comedians died - mitch hedberg. it saddens me that in the light of all the crap that goes on everywhere, there's a little bit less humor in the world. and when the pope dies, there'll be even less.

evidently j. ro feels similarly. check it out: