February 24, 2005

pit of intellect

finally sat down to study for tomorrow's midterm. with the focus of a thousand giant magnifying glasses, i learned. these were the results:

aim conversation with steffi:
me: tell me a happy story about little children that find love
steffi: hansel and gretel were not brother and sister
steffi: they were lovers
steffi: and the gingerbread house was their love shack
steffi: in which they indulged in temporal pleasures
steffi: MUAHAHA
me: temporal?
me: and hansel and gretel were always a little too close for my comfort, anyways. they were kids, but veery...bonded. their woodsman father left them in the forest because he couldn't stand watching them. creepy incestuous children.
me: and far too precocious for their own good
steffi: haha
steffi: temporal = earthly
me: oh
me: i always hear it in sci-fi context. "captain we are experiencing a temporal shift!" "don't interrupt me, mr. spock, can't you see that i am currently seducing an attractive, albeit green-tinted alien woman. though i was wondering why it is that we seem to perform the same face-smashing kiss over and over again, yet sustain no injuries nor move to second base."
steffi: hahahahahaha
steffi: that belongs in my profile
me: yay! positive reinforcement. i am witty.

aim conversation at jim:
all me: alright, i don't care whether you actually respond. it's either talk or fall back into crazy screaming study mode. and steffi has gone for food.
so i tried to go to my ls 3 ta's office hours today
turned out to be in "chs" building
had no idea what that was supposed to be at all
but on my way, i ran into some guy i recognized from the lab for that class
hurrah, i thought, someone who might know where it is
he gave be blank looks and said something about the room probably being changed and had no advice as to where "chs" was
i found him utterly useless, but did not tell him so
anyways, i had a bit of a hunch
i suspected, rather randomly, that "chs" stood for "career health sciences" and was somewhere in the grand mysterious complex of buildings that is behind ls
so i made my walk down to the ls building and beyond
one enters on the second floor there, and is suspected that the office was on the third, even though the numbering scheme was entirely different
ls has 4-digit room numbers. chs: 5
so, i went up a flight. found myself on the 4th floor of the med school, so i wandered around a little till i found a stairwell, went down one
found a map and a bank of elevators, but no good, somehow i had gotten myself into...well, i'm not sure what the building was named. it was named after a man, though. that wasn't right
so i wandered about some more, going from map to map, searching for the room
ended up somehow, not in the med school, but the dentistry chool.
every door, it seemed, lead to the hospital, and the grad students were beginning to stare
finally, i back-tracked
found the medical school
and lo, the building had the same format room numbering
i had intended to just return to ls and call off my search, but the numbers above the doors were heartening. i was even in the correct corridor
i proceeded onward, looking upward at the plaques on the doorframes
until, lo! the correct room number was before me
but the possibility still loomed that i was in the incorrect building
none of the nearby maps claimed to be "career health sciences" i was still in the med school
but then, peering through the cloudy glass window, i saw...my ta!!!
i entered, he was with a student, and sweatily proclaimed "a pox on you and your meeting room!"
my questions were answered and i was directed in the proper direction to the ls building
i have traversed the dark, seamy depths of the medical plaza and lived to tell the tale
just call me dr. livingston
*no responce*

aim conversations with sadaf:
me: how i love you, fructose, sucrose, glucose
sadaf: haha
me: apple juice from concentrate, you are my hero

me: distract me
sadaf: no, i can't! i'm freaking out.
me: why now?
sadaf: just b/c i have a whole lot of psychology reading to finish/study for quiz on friday, and i have a maht midterm on friday that i haven't started studying for.
sadaf: purely school this time
me: aaaack!!!
me: oh my freaking god, that's a lot of work!!
me: there's no human way any...human can do all of that!!
me: mother of odin, nooo!!!
sadaf: YOU SUCK!!!!
me: okay, now that i've freaked out, you don't have to
sadaf: that was cruel and mean and horrible
me: HEY, don't say shit like that to me until you know what my purpose is
me: i freaked out, thus eliminating the need for you to freak out. leaving you free to tackle your work without the taint of panic.
me: be grateful, bitch. it's psycological surrogacy
(she forgave me)

and finally, e-mail to chris:
i have a midterm tomorrow.  i began studying last night, just before my roommate and i had sex and the city marathon.  so, majority of learning was left for today.  i began studying in the late afternoon with ambivalence.  i became distracted partway through by my finances...just how much money will i not have to live on by the end of the school year.  the answer is...?  a couple thousand dollars; i'll be a couple thousand dollars short.  whoo.  well, that is, as long as my grant does not come through.  who knows what sort of joyous cash orgy i will be in if my grant comes through.  or at least paying rent.  i'll be able to pay rent.  so that entire situation, as you might imagine, caused me some stress, which i was then deftly able to channel into intense study focus for hours end-to-end.  moriaty intense study focus is more intense than your average study focus, as well. it is a soul-consuming pit of learning.  frequent food-breaks are necessary least neurons suddenly seize up of starvation.  it causes headaches.  i become literally quivering mass os insanity and information.  imagine pasty white jello imbued with human intelligence and vast knowledge of protein synthesis.  of course, one cannot remain sane for very long in this state and the craving for company and conversation eventually becomes overwhelming.  i get into the strangest conversations when i'm learning - desperation for distraction, overabundance of body energy.  but no one will talk to me now, so i e-mailin.'  also, have rolled up sticker of some kind up my nose, it's quite long and tickles.  falling.  gonna end now.  by dear. thanks for reading sanity-inducing words.  kisses, carla

i think that pretty much sums it up.


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