January 16, 2005

rather random

so i had an epiphany the other evening as to why i've been so neurotic as of late, well, not so much an epiphany as a forehead-slapping moment. and, for those of you with more delicate sensibilities, i have decided to explain my behavior with an extended metaphor. (no, of course it's not so that i can refrain from writing it out bluntly.) god help us all.

now, consider if you will: a twenty-year-old male finds himself entirely unable to get off for a longer span than two weeks. that could be considered quite the crisis. rather large-magnitude, in fact. politicians and world leaders would declare a state of emergency and the red cross would send aid workers to the disaster area: the afflicted's pants in the hope of soothing the poor man in his trying times. now, as we all know, charity begins at home. and, well, yes, i do believe that sums things up. hope that was vague enough for you all. well, no wonder i've been freaking out. that said, i am slowly and cautiosly reverting to my normal self.

let us recap the latter half of the week, now, shall we? thursday had no class, did laundry, but never put away my clean clothes. nor have i, for that matter, unpacked after coming back down from the bay. as i didn't do all of my dirty laundry, merely the darks, and they are now resting in my hamper, there is a growing pile of dirty laundry on the floor of my bathroom, preventing me from fully opening the door. friday went to class. go back and spent a couple of lovely hours in perfect contentment reading on the roof. le morte darthur. a bit slow to get through, but it was lovely and warm and i came back down smiling faintly. went to the hammer museum with kat and amy and watched movies until late. very jolly time. today, went to santa monica with the same two and drifted from store to store. got some inexpensive gap pants, some (accidentally doubly) discounted panties (that ended up at $.50 a piece due to some computer error that i poor karmically did not mention to the cashier), a lovely soft sweater with an odd bow on the shoulder (makes me feel like some sort of gift), and a stretchy striped shirt. it seems i'm beginning to dress more classy. go figure. dinner at amy's and then grocery shopping. i've also had the most horrendous desire to dance about.

read a bit of camille paglia's book sexual personae (sadly, a favorite of elissa's, sorry hon, i'm about to bash it) and found it to be horribly argued pedantic tripe. the name-dropping alone was enough to enrage, but the absurd overdramatic assertions she makes without giving proper reasoning behind them are beyond the pale. i read it aloud to kat and amy and we took turns dissecting almost her every line. a bit of an excerpt from page 5, thanks to amazon.com. "what the west represses in its view of nature is the chthonian, which means 'of the earth' - but the earth's bowels, not its surface. jane harrison uses the term for pre-olympian greek religion, and i adopt it as a substitute for dionysian, which has become contaminated with vulgar pleasantries. the dionysian is no picnic. it is the chthonian realities which apollo evades, the blind grinding of subterranean force, the long slow suck, the murk and ooze. it is the dehumanizing brutality of biology and geology, the darwinian waste and bloodshed, the squalor and rot we must block from consciousness to retain our apollonian integrity as persons. western science and aesthetics are attempts to revise this horror into imaginatively palatable form." what the fuck is she talking about??? she seems caught-up in her use of language and fails to say anything of import; within the first 6 pages, as far as i have currently read, only seems to list a bunch of false assumptions and support them with gross leaps of logic. now, i am willing to grant that, perhaps she is merely giving a skeletal outline of how the arguments she will later make will progress, however i doubt it. urg. rubbish. i suppose eventually, she will begin talking about sexual roles and eventually how sex can never be guiltless or equitable and feminists are wrong and people are inherently bad and...god who knows.

i've been having these really random and epic dreams. large sets, diverse casts, longish plot lines, vivid colors. i wish i could remember them better. i'm enjoying them, however. alright, and now to bed and hopefully a cure. night.


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