January 25, 2005

a life without cause is a life without effect

i've finished my book, pretty good. i'm afraid that the syntax was not terribly inspired and it left me a bit confused. about two-thirds of the way through, i paused, seeing it was written in a rather limited third person narrative. up until then, i had been under a peculiar impression that it was written in the first person. i pondered this for a while, when i suddenly realized that the writing style was not entirely unlike my own, at least as far as the sentence fragments went. and whenever i write in that manner, i am writing in the first person. so, at least it wasn't an entirely far-fetched misapprehension.

after i finished, i did a terribly geeky thing. i had gone to meet a professor earlier today and discuss an ecological parallel to the underlying libertine philosophy in the writings of the earl of rochester (oh, trust i know how insufferably pedantic that sounds) and he had asked that i send him a follow-up e-mail with the specifics. so, at about 3am today, i sent him a terribly long message, detailing the concept of group selection, its rivalry with natural selection theory, and the argument for the supremacy of natural selection. you will just have to believe that there is a correlation between that and libertinism - and it has to do with being a selfish git. anyways, i summed up the arguments, named their main proponents, cited their relevant articles, as well as my sources, and sent it off with a bit of an apology as to the length. if i were doing this out of any desire to promote myself, i would be full of self-loathing as a total kiss-ass. unfortunately, this is just something i have been obsessing over for the past few days and the options were to either share my private fixation, or go quietly insane. i never did introduce myself to my professor while speaking to him, though i believe i did include my name in the e-mail out of formality. besides, i am firm in my knowledge that my professor will never read or grade any of my essays, so i will never receive any reward for this compulsive behavior. so, essentially, there is no point to me having done all that. none, except for the geekery. shit.

i have the strangest desire to watch barbarella again. i'm not sure what it is that compels me, but i have to assume it is some biological need to see bubblegum sci-fi sexplotation. post-coital jane fonda with horribly messy teased hair. post-non-coital fonda with ringlets. that fabulous black and white fur number with the long, trailing tail. durand durand and his famous line, "Fool! Liar! ldiots!" no, it's really much campier and charming that it here seems.


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