December 03, 2004


today was a sad, slumpy day. i was just fine going to class, but after i came back to the apartment everything declined. got back and decided to nap, as i ended up staying awake past 5 last night. talked to jim for the last bit of that about my inability to stand weather of any sort, especially the cold. the product of growing up in lovely, temperate bay area. i'm a spoiled californian and i know it. that said, i got back from class today and napped for a couple of hours. the roommates were out, so i had the place to myself, a boon for once, as it felt like a luxury being able to sleep half-dressed with the door open. though i always sleep only half-dressed. at some point the absentee roommate came in. i heard her open the door, the jingle of keys, the bang of a cabinet, more key noises, and the door again as she left. ah well. ran into her boyfriend today, at least. i finally got up and set about trying to fix myself something for dinner. we've been living on the dregs of our refrigerator, as we still had not yet gone to replenish the more perishable goods after the holiday. when the others returned, i was sitting on the couch, having just finished a tuna sandwich and two eggos, in pj pants, a robe, and wrapped in a blanket. Kat, roosh, and ib swept in, having come back from teaching inner city children how to read, chatting away and looking extremely well-groomed. i felt like a complete lump, watching my seinfeld and sleeping. the three then breezed back out, going to chipotle for dinner. ugh, trendy mexican food and an excursion. they offered me to join, but i just ate, had no cash, and couldn't bring myself to slide off the couch and spruce up. later in the evening, kat and i went for groceries to restock the fridge, and magically the bill came to about $30 - a miracle low for us. and now, hours later, i'm trying to begin a lit essay. i've also been trying to re-construct the research i did for my behavior experiment proposal, a final assignment in my ecology class. all my old information was lost with the laptop, so i had to retrace article database searches. the article database is shitily designed, so this entire process was far more irritating than it had to be, at one point actually coaxing a scream of rage from me. i felt a bit guilty at that. but now, i'm back to the lit essay, and i have absolutely nothing to say. i'm supposed to do a close reading of a passage from marlowe's faustus, but i can't for the life of me develop a thesis that isn't asenine. "marlowe uses words having to do with time a lot in this passage because faustus is scared of his rapidly approaching death and marlowe wants to create a sense of urgency. and of time. and death. yeah, death." this wouldn't be nearly so obnoxious if it weren't a large percentage of my grade, if i didn't need this grade to redeem disappointing performance on my last lit essay, if i didn't have to turn in a draft tomorrow. now if you'll excuse me, i'm off to find myself some better music from kat's cd hoard. maybe something blood-and-thunder for inspiration.


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