December 01, 2004

stalking tri-delts and a good time was had by all

at about 12:30 tonight i went over to yen's through the blistering cold (okay i bet it was only 50'F) all bundled up in scarf, gloves, and big tweed coat (i cut a very adorable figure) to avoid my work. and we spent the evening shooting the bull, gossiping about old acquaintances, laughing at people, and just before i left, the topic of her ex came up. her ex and the shank he left her for. dun dun dun! and, in a moment of brilliant inspiration, we decided to stalk them. stalk them good. what we know about her: drove boy-asshole-loser (as he shall now forever be named) to visit yen in order that he may break up with yen and thus date her, is in the *unmentioned uc campus* chapter of delta delta delta sorority, blonde, name is nicole (not actually nicole). so we stalk. we go to sorority chapter website and look up list of names - 2 nicoles. yen narrows it down. we then look through all sorority photos for her ex hanging on some blond. we hit a snag - yen has forgotten what he looks like. we google him and find...a picture. the hunt continues. we compare all skinny white boys in sorority shots with picture of ex. no luck, damn. (we did, on the other hand, find dozens of photos of scary asian sorority sister with grimace-smile that would give any child nightmares. oh, the eyeshadow. oh, the hideous forced expression of happiness. and the teeth. the angry, gnashing teeth. it was like a cannibal trying to sooth a frightened child, to lull it into false sense of security before dropping it in the pot. he smiles at it, adopting an attitude even more frightening than before. the child tries to ) but we do not despair. no, i look up her name on thefacebook, while yen googles her name. nicole has an account, but alas, no photo posted. yen has luck, though. photo of the girl on the website of an obscure scholarship of which she is the recipient. buahaha, we have our quarry cornered now! we go back to sorority site with renewed hope to double-check. and sure enough, the same nicole appears in a group photo with way more blondes that i ever thought to co-inhabit the same space. vindication!!! high fives all around, corks popping out of champagne bottles, we have our match. yen is totally cuter, i am obliged to say (loyalty to friends). if anything, yen has to be the more dynamic person, for god's sake. silly, silly boy. so then i came back (4 am walk alone through the streets) and wrote the conclusion for a lab report. it is now nearly 5am. graaah!

so, apart from stalking tr-delts, for the past three days, i've been alternating homework, generally of the renaissance lit variety, with reading Postmodern Courtesan. is rather brilliant. though elissa points out that, "sex is the guy banging away till he comes and thats that. no guy will come then eat out a girl unless he's married and she will not feed him unless he does," implying that Courtesan's stories are a bit far-fetched. aw, and i was getting all starry-eyed and hopeful. however a distorted view of life this may afford (i strongly doubt that many prostitutes are nearly as well-read or traveled, though there is also belle), i still find it terribly diverting. very hot, interesting, and engaging. and a much more comprehansible read than the faerie queene (which i have finally finished, huzzah!) or the duchess of malfi (yucky, yucky, yucki). i'm afraid i find it very difficult to read plays when i cannot picture the action, and when i miss a stage direction while reading a play hundereds of years old, written in not the most modern english, i become very confused and irate. let us just say that after that, i found the poetry of john donne a joy. at least lofty metaphors don't include offset "[exit]." i'm trying to choose what classes to take for next quarter. so far, i have bio and popular british lit. i can't decide on a third and dare i venture a fourth? probably not. nothing really interests me this quarter. i want to take another english pre-minor requirement, but class is at 9 every morning and my other classes are all scheduled in the afternoon. i could do more math, but a loathe that. behavior doesn't fit nicely into the schedule, either. and i don't even want to think about chem again.

so that's the trash, folks. but if you ever need an ex digitally followed, tracked down, or found out...call a hacker. but if you just want a picture of their new fuck-toy, call yen and moriarty detective services. we find you a picture of the bitch, so you feel better about yourself. *wink*

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