November 29, 2004

give me a tropical breeze and a tiny-umbrella drink...

i got back to la last night after the longest car ride ever (at least from san jose to la). i don't know what it takes to pack i5 with that many cars, but it has to be something bad. nearly everyone was getting off at the same boonie stop, too, backing up the highway for an hour of driving at no more than 20mph. we finally arrived, i felt so sorry for kat who had to sit still for that entire spate, 7 1/2 hours to be exact, thrilled to be back. in a burst of energy, pent-up from that ride, i picked up my room, unpacked, fixed my bedframe, changed my sheets, put up posters, set up a wireless network, roped my computer to my desk, and cleaned my bathroom. finally, bed. had a normal day of class today. dinner and then tried to study. oh, good god. i must be in fucking estrus (meaning "gadfly" or "frenzy"), because i'm hornier'n a jackrabbit inna full moon (or some much more appropriate colorful expression from yon parts, not here). it is seriously messing with my learning vibe. i have been able to only get through maybe twelve stanzas of the faerie queene and it is way past time i finished that. there's something about winter - i think i've inherited my mother's tolerance for low temperatures; she has none to speak of. the nights have gotten freezing and i lie in bed shivering until my body heat pervades the sheets and fills the air between my blankets. day isn't a picnic, either. my hands are now almost constantly freezing, bad circulation or something, but i genuinely just want to sit with them nestled between my thighs now, not having to hold or lift or carry or write anything. i can hardly turn the pages of my book, i'm so reluctant to draw them out from within the folds of my blanket. but i seriously think the weather is exacerbating what should normally be a simple hormonal progression from sanity to gagging for a shag. my body just keeps urging me that if someone else were under the blanket with me, i'd be much warmer, rrrr. ugh, i just want to call jim up, but the fact that i've been the last one to call or invite or im for more than just the last several communications strongly discourages me. it drives me insane whenever i'm the only one to initiate contact, i feel needy and obsessive and like a nag, even when i'm not. hell, it's essentially the reason jeff and i aren't friends anymore. friends should not play "hard to get." so maybe i'll try the old standby - curl up under a blanket with cocoa and a book. and if that doesn't work, i'm forcing kat to turn up the thermostat, environment be damned. ugh, i want my warm weather back!! i may be frigid, but i'm sure as hell no ice-queen.

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