September 11, 2004

lesbians, dostoyevsky, and blood

i must really be slipping in my old age, mellowing out a lot in my principles. i used to be so idealistic and, well, noble-spirited, i guess. and now, have supported and worked for child-labor conglomerate (they make great underwear). and now, fur. yes, fur. my aunt brought a whole suitcase full of the most luscious buttery fur coats. beautiful colors and soo soft. cute designs, v. high fashion. and i waant. i could get them at, like, a fourth the store cost. still hundreds of dollars. amazingly lovely, but i can't bring myself to own something like that...yet. the diva might yet win out over the earth mama. had a little fashion show here with me as the bootylicious model. bootylicious because tight pants and skirts revealed latin curves, my aunt pointed out. it seems i am a brick house. chatted with jim, back from russia. had a long and pretty good convo fri, short and lame convo last night. offered me russian vodka, and i really wanna be back in la with liquor. talked to dad about my drinking last night over dinner. wasn't too weird and he was entirely cool with it. or at least seemed to be. i know mum wouldn't be too pleased, though. amusing chat with jim about literature, very high-brow:

me: i just started reading notes from underground, which has me all pleased, but really, my attention span's not up to it.
jim: that is an awesome story, dostoevsky is such a nutbar.
me: dug crime and punishment, but he's so heavy, have to think about all that.
jim: yeah, you have to cut through dostoevsky with a literary machete. or maybe lexogorical machete would be a better adjective.
me: ...i have a power drill around here somewhere.
jim: that's always good. you should read the brothers karamazov, though, that's the best dostoevsky and its a little lighter too.
me: yeah, on my list.
jim: kat's announcing that you and her are secret lesbians. i knew it the whole time. but your secret is safe with me. do you like my contrast in the conversations? on one hand, dostoevsky, on the other, lesbians.
me: nice.
jim: its like the best of both worlds.
me: if only the brothers kasmarov were lesbians, then it would be a brilliant blend of the two.
jim: yeah, but then i dont' think it would have quite been as good of a story. or maybe. dostoevsky would have to have been one creative mother fucker.
me: well, maybe he had it in him, just never had the opportunity.
jim: true. i bet it was political pressure to change it.
me: yeah, given the opportunity, i bet it would have all been harcore lesbian action. and punishment.
(so proud of my little witticism. i'm so easily pleased.)

today, had work. ingrid called at 10, i was passed out so hard, and asked if i was coming in. ended up going to work at 2. was exhausted all day - a combination of menstrual energy drain and the fact that i went to bed at 2 am. wanted to watch m*a*s*h. (shrug) i combatted that with fudgey fudgey caramel cookie/cake thing from starbucks and a cafe americano at work, but i'm back to cotton head now and can hardly eat. full full full.


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