September 14, 2004

i want something to do, graah!

i was going to spend this afternoon in monterey, but that fell through. entirely my own fault, of course, but that does not prevent me from growing ever more irritated with the world. kat and i were going to go (neither sadaf nor suegol was able to make it), when i said, "i'm thinking we should just postpone till some time next week when more people are able to go." but suegol's going off to college and won't be able to make it and sadaf has a domineering mother so won't be able to make it. oh, and matt and morgans' schedules are just impossible. soo, kat took my waffling seriously and made other plans for today with the ex-cum-fuck-buddy-boy, and all i want to do is lie on my back on the floor of my open, sun-drenched house, stewing in a pool of angst. was dragged all around costco this morning shopping with my mum, to make matters worse. i was hardly able to drag myself out of bed to go; i'm becoming seriously frustrated by my ever-increasing lethargy. if i don't get some mental stimulus soon, i'm afraid i will just implode, taking large patches of carpet and some of the moulding with me. the plus side of this morning is that i now am the proud owner of chocolat. i've decided that since movies are my one major vice, i shouldn't do too much harm to indulge it, except to my pocketbook, i guess. also, i am now having costco california rolls and ice cold mountain fresh distilled water for lunch. and watching star trek. is it wrong that i am sexually attracted to a character who looks as if his forehead became agitated and started crawling around all over itself, folding up and over like intestinal lining, and then a ridge of pink coral sprouted above, crest to chin? yeah, thought not. so now i will sit in my irate little state and assuage my sour mood with sci-fi and sushi. (evidently the space mafia is very trusting. the mob man is trusting, easy to double-cross in a heart-rending way.) so now i will just stew in my own juices of annoyances.


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