July 06, 2004

burried sress

a couple of nights ago i had a dream and woke up crying. i tried to hush myself by laughing, but i wasn't making any noise and it wasn't doing me any good. i still freak out a little thinking about it. i know what my motivation for the dream was, and now i'm left even more freaked out. i hadn't realized i was that panicked, in fact i hadn't thought about the issue for a while, but evidently it was there, under the surface. and now my fears about, oh the silliest thing, are all coming out. and dancing. i never really worried about grades before, but i can see dreams of med school drifting away. the thing is, i'm not even sure i want med school anymore; i'm getting more and more interested in writing. i know i've written about all this before, but i don't typically wake up in tears, so forgive me if i'm prattling on. wait, no. that's the end of the prattling. i'm going to bed. and tomorrow i will teach the little monsters more math (and blackjack). yeah, good times.


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