June 03, 2004

unruly charges

this is what happens every time i play a sport: at first i am very into it, after all, i wanted to play. but i don't give it my all because effort is hard. i get tired after a couple rounds and then fuck around for a bit. i will want to quit now. if i continue playing (reluctantly), i get over the tedium, and get into this weird mindset where everything is slow and sleepy, like moving through water. i still would rather not play, but don't mind playing, either. my body has broken into a cold sweat. i get serious again, but still can't really work up the energy to care.

my life is there right now. everything is a little cold and remote, like underwater, and i don't so much have emotions about anything as i have opinions.

just now, i'm sitting around, bra and jeans, feeling very self-sufficient and adult. like nothing can phase me right now. i am also feeling very "i am beautiful woman," which always leads to trouble. and as a result of the two, very "i am woman hear me roar." almost makes me want to go prove the whole fish/bicycle theory of the 70's...y'all know what i'm talkin' about, wink wink. *sigh* this is what happens whenever i wear underwire - i start thinking with my breasts. "oh yeah, you want me, don't you, i know you do, you can't hide it from us," they say. damn cocky breasts.

i accidentally flashed a woman today walking to class. (unruly breasts.) i was wearing a button-down shirt, which i wear unbuttoned down to my bra. however the combined strain of my breasts and bag strap must have been too much and the next button down came undone, as well. maybe it felt left out. well, someone gave me a rather odd glance, which prompted me to look down and see, sure enough, whoops, i had flashed her a boob. i buttoned back up, but didn't really care. at least i had on a nice bra.

i have the urge to watch sci-fi, but i shouldn't, i have chem to do. my speakers (unplugged) are making a weird ratta-tat-tat sound like popcorn or popguns. one of the two. that would be unnerving if i weren't so damn awesome just now. the more i let myself think about it, the more i lean towards lit, eesh. so much for my altruistic dreams, eh? somewhere in this city is a venezuelan cheese store. i want to get some good foreign cheese to bring back to mum when i go home. freebird is a damn fine song. i sent j ro (funnyman creator of wigu, see sidebar link) a picture of a turnip because he was bit by a spider and i felt sad because he was all gimpy and not drawing for my enjoyment. he called me "ace" and now i'm all happy inside.

i am so fuckin' ace, dammit.


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