June 29, 2004

confused, raw, and tasteless

another day of molding young minds and i'm exhausted. okay, so i'm not getting enough sleep, and fiiine, i tend to confuse the kids. but i would like to believe i do good. today we did origami. and basic geometry. but first, i confused the shit out of my first class with my words and strange mannerisms. i'm good 'n spazzy. i am queen. so it turns out i'm not teaching the shiny youngsters i originally assumed them to be. my first class has a small group of rowdy boys. i got hit by a paper airplane today. of course, being me, i just laughed. my second class is a bit more dangerous, i believe. there are some rather sweet little asain girls in it with a horrible tendency to pay no attention to me, talk, giggle, and beg an explanation of what is going on with wide little girl eyes and sly grins. i'm afraid i may have to become evil and clothesline the ringleader to maintain order. i don't want to have to do that, i think it might severely hamper the happy-go-lucky vibe of the class. that, and i may be full of drama, but i'm pretty non-confrontational. i prefer avoiding conflict, or inserting a pointed word randomly into conversation (jeff), but i may just have to discipline this child. also, there's a second little girl, tiny and me-ish. hates the gabby distracting one and makes little snide comments. they bicker and it's a bit difficult to not take sides.

for the last few days, my lips are felt rather raw. i'm not sure why, though, they're not chapped, i have no good explanation for this. if i were to consult some herbalist or mystic, i'm pretty sure i'd get some response about fear of intimacy or the like. i also have a canker sore beneath my lower lip near the gumline. needless to say, my mouth is pretty raw. combined, those signs have got to mean something.

my parents have gone on a frugal/healthy kick and now there's only 1% milk in the house. and i swear i could not taste the cheddar i put on my spaghetti a couple of nights ago. i don't know if that was a low-fat issue, or a cheap cheese issue, or finally a strange and random fluke. at any rate, i may have to start buying my own dairy products. and i want something sweet. no sweets in the house. waaah.

and good news! ib's taken the other spot in the apartment, so now we have 2 subletters and i don't have to pay. huzzah. that means all the money i make goes to pay for my joy. eating out, watching movies, cable tv, nice luxuries like that. i can buy a bed! and yummy scratchy area rugs (i love texture under my feet). i began a massive painting last year and if i finish it prettily it's goin' up in the 'partment. can't wait yay. it's getting so stifling here, too. they don't complain so much when i go out, but it's all lectures about sleep and nutrition. and there's always a parent home, that aura of observation. ah, well. good times.

joy on me

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