June 06, 2004

boys and bras

i've decided to blog the events of my date in order to forestall questions and catcalls, though i have the sneaking suspicion it might just cause more of the above-mentioned behavior. first and foremost, i should mention to those of you not in my immediate gossip circle, yes, carla the frigid ice queen of hoth had a date. his name is morgan, i met him on the onion personals (yes, sad) i have a personal ad. 20, terribly cute in person, very american eagle, sea-green eyes - actually he looks like the type of guy you'd moon at from across the lecture hall but never speak to in person. he was very normal, average guy: friendly, good-natured, funny. not terribly witty, not outstandingly interesting, though he told pretty good stories, and it was a first date, after all. we got lunch at cpk, and then walked around westwood a bit, stopped by kinross to see amy's guillotine, though she wasn't there when we stopped by. it's a neat guillotine, absolutely huge, and i was rather disappointed to see it wasn't completely assembled. ended date with a hug and we'd talk again online. all-in-all it went pretty well, i don't so much know what to say, i don't really expect anything to arise from this, what with our geographic separation, but it was pretty fun, and i'd go out with him again...assuming i had the time what with finals.

after that, stopped at diddy reese then went up to kat's for a visit and a gossip. napped on her bed for a bit, under the blanket but on top of the sheet. she woke me up for dinner and i found swirling impresses covered my chest and arms in fascinating patterns. there was even a perfect imprint of my bracelet above my left boob. kat dragged me to dinner and on the way i ran into jim's gf. made random inept chat because i fell a bit the bitch for my behavior towards jim, or possible his behavior towards me... well, it couldn't do harm if she just considered me flighty and harmless. i have nothing but innocent intentions, so it would just be best to stave off unnecessary worry. terribly groggy, ate an orange and toast, drank water and milk - feel mildly anorexic but am not. i'll probably just eat the leftovers from my lunch tonight when i get hungry.

in a secondary note, i have developed a theory about bras; the theory goes as follows. underwire bras are for the most part terribly uncomfortable, yet that is most popular style, in fact, it is nearly ubiquitous. what then could account for their popularity, considering the discomfort of wearing one? my answer: underwire bras direct the focus of the wearer away from the head and into the breasts. while wearing a simple cloth bra, or no support at all, there is no niggling sensation drawing attention down, but with underwire, suddenly the breasts become the focus of your own attention. you feel them constantly, at least at first, hovering there in front of you, always a step ahead, anticipating your every move as if they were guiding you. and pretty soon that is exactly what begins to happen. your breasts are the first thing out in the world, feeling ahead like antennae and soon you begin to think with them, not merely of them. there is an affect akin to men's "little brain," only less pronounced, that becomes second nature in time. Though one may cease to be consciously aware of her breasts, there is a little part of her brain still listening to them and relaying their message on. the effect? womanly wiles. i believe that women's subtle sensual manipulations stem directly from their breasts. there are out there, coy, flirting, scheming without us. women have been wearing uncomfortable breast support for centuries, consider the corset, if you will. so the social effect has spanned centuries. i am rather intrigued at the ramifications of the popularization of the thong, however. what will happen to society, when women begin thinking with their asses as well? certainly only time can tell.


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