April 17, 2004

every italian hero has his p. toadstool

yesterday kat and neighbor jim came over to play video games, after all the festivities of the early evening. for my part, the rest of the night (until 6 a.m. that is) oscillated between silliness and mildly self-effacing comments (entirely justified i assure you, i suck at video games, hardcore) and brutal sarcasm. the sarcasm was equally justified as jim insisted on using me alternately as a footrest, backrest, and headrest, all the while deriding my marioworld 3 abilities. this created a rather unusual dynamic. i don't know jim all that well and was frankly surprised by the level of contact. on the other hand, i am not known for my social skills and the men in my life are all, bar none, unusual. i can't decide if that was normal behavior and merely novel to me because i limit my human contact to: rare if at all, or if it was, in fact, a bit odd. really, i guess i just feel a bit awkward about it because he has a girlfriend and they are "so in love" - as elissa one described it. what that means, then, is that i feel a bit weird because i feel as if there should be some sort of censure present. oh well, ultimately it was entirely uninteresting. yay!

i woke up today (at 2:15 p.m.) to this horoscope:
scorpio: Try to remember your dreams, because one of them is so big and crazy that you shouldn't rely on your subconscious to take care of it. You might want to keep it to yourself, too.

well, ha! i'm blogging it anyways. or at least in part. actually, i've decided to keep the bulk to myself. too weird, too full of meaning. you peons get the edited version. my dream last night was epic, so this is gonna be one smallish part. two people were featured in my dream who i haven't had any relationship with since middle school. one i never expected to see again, and now, surprisingly, see rather regularly, though any meetings are awkward and stunted, due to a social faux pas i made upon running into him for the first time in many years. the other is someone i certainly haven't seen for many years, though i still look for his face in large crowds. the odd thing about the dream was my relationship with the two. the first and i were close friends, and i finally did run into the second, after all. our meeting was not so happy as expected, however, and i guess the moral was: i may be feeling rather lonely now, but i'm not going to find someone from among the people i already know. if i want a boyfriend, i'm going to actually have to go out and meet new people and stop bitching about my social ineptitude for long enough to get to know someone cool.

that being said, perhaps i will take up jim's offer (and convince kat to do the same, of course) to go drinking at his frat. it's an engineering frat. perhaps i'll meet someone clever.


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