February 09, 2004

Leaving the Nest

This whole fear of growing up, lost boys syndrome, has been weighing heavily on my mind for the last couple of days. In fact, it has sunk me into the most irritating melancholy. My parents called last night and i mentioned getting an apartment next year and they seemed rather unhappy about the prospect, even though it would probably save them money. My father asked me why i would want to move off campus, which really means that he does not quite approve. His reluctance is uncharacteristic, because it would be financially advantageous, so, of course there must be a deeper reason for his displeasure, hmmm. The problem with this is that since i already feel a little bad about this matter, their empty-nesting is going to do nothing but make me feel worse. I already don't want to spend the summer here - the reason? - they're going to wonder why i'd want to be away and feel hurt that i was leaving. and then i'd feel hurt that i was leaving. plus i have a great job back home all lined up at the cookware store. flexible hours, great pay, damn. for the most part, i'm digging the idea of moving out, but there's always that part of me that is terribly saddened by the fact that i'm growing up. dammit!


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